Jack Swagger is in a bad place: the former World Heavyweight Champion took a Cobra for a loss against Santino Marella in a quick U.S. Title match on RAW, a week after losing the managerial services of Vickie Guerrero. Despite having the best organized hair in wrestling, Jack’s chakras are all out of whack, as you can see on RAW Backstage Fallout this week. Losing streak storylines are the opposite of helpful to getting guys over, yet it’s a well WWE keeps going back to that well for guys who are just important enough that they’d be missed if they disappeared altogether. It was rough enough to go through that roller coaster when I was a big Shelton Benjamin fan and I don’t look forward to it again with Swagger.
WWE stuck two of their best in-ring performers, Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio, in a Thing On A Pole match to challenge for Sheamus‘s World Heavyweight Championship Friday on Smackdown. Matches with things on poles are reliable trainwrecks pretty much no matter who’s in them: a lot of yanking and slapfights in the corner and everyone sells having trouble with climbing and standing up. This one turned slapstick pretty fast after Ziggs grabbed and dropped the contract, leading to the two of them groping after the clipboard like Velma looking for her glasses on Scooby-Doo as Michael Cole did his best to make some nonsense up about how you have to control it! no one controlled it!
This was better than I’m making it sound, as it involved two wildly expressive personalities (four if you count Guerrero and Ricardo Rodriguez at ringside) flinging themselves across the ring for our amusement in what looked like a really animated game of catch. Cartoon-wise it was actually more Looney Tunes than Scooby-Doo. If you get a kick out of Daffy Duck having to set his face right after his beak explodes to the wrong side of his head, you probably liked this match. Ziggler is Daffy Duck in that analogy, FYI.
Eventually Sheamus appeared to say eh f*ck it and invite them both for a triple threat match. Everyone seemed pretty content with this, and the contract got left sitting there for the crew to pick up because Sheamus made them forget to try to win at stuff.
Dolphus and ADR with Rodriguez in tow gave their $.02 on their upcoming triple threat match. Del Rio abuses Rodriguez as per usual. Ziggler remains WWE’s most lovable, fastest-talking narcissist. Check it all out below:
PHOTO CREDIT – WWE
TweetTony Fryklund Kazuyuki Fujita Masakatsu Funaki Zelg Benkei Galesić Mauro Galvao
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